Poem # 28

Shyness like a disease

Spreads through out my body

Its green putrid pus coming out

Of my leg

Like infection eating a burn

A shot in the butt will not help

I want to have friends

To listen to people

To actually hear what they have to say

And digest their wisdom

And their being

Into my heart

I am deaf, blind, and numb

The infection spreading its

Malicious malevolence 

Into my brain

I am a robot

The disease has won

I am deadened

It is too late for me

I am already programmed

Green putridness flowing like a river

Out of all my pours

Its emerald stench is so strong

I cannot smell anything but shampoo

I am the disease

The reason why

Brothers war on brothers

Smell my monstrous contagion 

As the secretion runs down your spine

And into your heart

I am jade

Burned with no pain

I cannot feel

A thing

A Cat Poem

She sits inside all day

Looking out the window

Content with just gazing

The thought of actually going outside

Does not cross her mind

Or so I think

She is perfectly content

Scratching her worn out grimy post

Burying her scat under the other two cats Excrement

Eating the same old tasteless

Odorless tanned bits of hard

Industrial waste everyday

Why can’t I be like that?

Just calm and pleasured?

My human condition drives me

To want more

More and more and more

To need to reach out and grab

Whatever it needs to grab

Unless I am too afraid

She is not like that

She is satisfied to sit by her window

Watching the birds mock her

With their solemn screams of freedom

While the house prevents her

From feeling the cool spring air

Smelling the green morning drenched grass

Putting her natural instinct to quite the mocking birds

Behind the glass she can stare

And stare and stare

Fall asleep

Defecate in the used filthy sand

Eating the insipid left over’s of humanity

While never wanting anything else

I left the dog door open yesterday

I hope you go through it

What I Believe in

I believe in wakening up on Saturday mornings

With nothing to do

But to feel the cold breeze

From an open window

While feeling the warmth of your own body

Under the lavender scented blanket

I believe in sunshine

The warmth and light

That warms your body

Enlightens your heart

And feeds your soul

I believe in the food of music

I eat it up

An album is like a banquet

Every note a different flavor

To be devoured and savored

I believe in human connection

The desire to truly know someone

To share who you are with another

To be there for one and other

Through bliss and pain

Through sun and rain

I believe in perfection that is not perfect

That life is truly wonderful

That suffering and pain

Make way to luminous days

That our darkest moments

Will make or break us

I believe in destiny that is shaped by free will

That our path is

 Like a colorless coloring book

It is up to us to choose which crayons to paint the picture

I believe in education

To try to understand

All that you can understand

Knowing that you can truly understand

Nothing

I believe in the human condition

The unsure self becoming aware

Of its self

And of others

And the relationship it is with

Each other, the world, and the universe

I believe in you

In being your self

The candle shining its light

Illuminating the darkness around it

Not afraid to be who you are

Giving others the taste of your individuality

So that they can find their own individuality

We are like a symphony

We must play our own melody

That is in harmony with the whole

Angels in My Life

Do you believe in guardian angels?

I did not use to

 But that change along time ago

It is my experience that

Guardian angels

Are not angelic

They are people

Everyday “normal” people

And they are here for you

When you least expect them

An old saying that

When the student is ready the teacher will appear

Cannot be more true

There are angels in my life

 I can recognize a few

They come and go

Some stay around

I know one from middle school

Guardian angels

Being there for me

And they don’t even know

To what extent

And to what end

They have helped

My life

Perfectly Imperfect

I am perfectly imperfect

And I am

Finally ok with that

I am perfectly imperfect

I am discovering that

Imperfection every day

And that Is perfection

I am perfectly imperfect

And that is beautiful

In its own way

Perfectly imperfect

I try every day

To get it “right”

I am done trying

I am just going to

Start being

I am understanding who

I am

And

I am

Perfectly imperfect

                                                                       

And that imperfection

Makes me feel

Free

Chocolate Donut

What will tomorrow bring?

What experiences will I experience?

Will it be the same old day?

The same old day is an illusion

Created by the human need

To control and manipulate

Every day is a new day

If only we can see it

I had my life planned out

Written down

All the events until the day I die

Life does not work that way

Life kills your plans

And it rebirths your dreams

And that is a good thing

Life is magical

If we can wake up

And smell the flowers

I don’t care for coffee

Unless it’s with a chocolate donut

Too Personal

What is a poem if it is not a reflection?

Writing is a reflection

A reflection into the author

All thou no one will really understand the reflection

Including the author

Truth is the essential in writing

With out truth

There is no meaning

And with out meaning

There is no point in regurgitating

The experience

Or trying to capture a feeling

So to answer your question

It will stay personal

My poems are a reflection

Of myself

And how I view the world

Understand them if you want

Take from them the meaning that you give

Don’t take them to seriously

And if you feel the need to judge

Judge

I don’t care

Ok I do care

But I will still be writing

To what end?

I don’t know

But I do love you to read them

Where is My Mind

It is true

Its gone

All gone

I flooded my house

I overfilled my motorcycle

Work although tedious is full of errors

School is not going so well

My personal life is in the trash

Is it understandable my wife calls me names?

Still?

I did ruin the basement

But it was already ruined

Now it’s totaled

This is my life

I am half asleep

Maybe fully asleep

I am craving a joke
 I am craving sleep

I am craving the glory of life

It seems that when I try to find that glory

That I just duck it up

Where is my mind

You tell me

I cant find it

Its lost

Probably in the same place

Where they buried

My soul

"Its ok
Im really ok
Trust me
Everything is going
To be
Fine"

Lessons From a Quote Book

You taught me that “we are born to die(1)”

and no matter your age “young old just words(2)” are they

That “love seeks not limits but outlets(3)”

And “all work and no play makes jack a dull boy(4)”

You speak to me threw others

I know to consider that “when I am simply grateful, life is simply great(5)”

That “home is all the sweeter when you have braved adventures to get back to it(6)”

And that 
“seeing this moment as a perfect moment is always a choice(7)”

It helps me to remember that

“I would rather die having spoke after my manner

Than speak in your manner and live(8)”

And that “love is not just a feeling.

Its shaving your balls(9)”

“After all if preprogrammed machines, can be changed by the

Roles they play

Then anybody could(10)”

And if anybody could

Then

“It is not easy to know what you like

Most people fool themselves

Their entire lives about this

Self acquaintance

Is a rare condition(11)”

Quoted by

1: William Shakespeare

2: Gorge Burns

3: Anonymous

4: The shinning

5: Jill Bote Taylor

6: Homer, the odyssey

7: Jill Bote Taylor

8: Socrates, the Apology

9: American wedding

10: Battle Star Galactica

11: Robert Henri

Connection

Connection is the most important

Part of being human

We connect with many things

But the most significant connection

Is with each other

When I talk to you

And you talk to me

And we can get along

Even with all of our problems

That is a beautiful thing

When you can support me

And I can support you

On interests that don’t interest us

That is a loving deed

When you become you

And I become me

And we put away our misery

Our lives open up

To each other

For each other

Yes we have our flaws

But making this work

Not for obligation

Not because we are afraid of the future

Not for anything else

We make this work

Because of our strong connection

And that connection

That is spectacular living

Mirror

I look in the mirror

What do I see?
Some strange human being

Looking back at me

I look in the mirror
 And to my surprise

 This face of mine

 Is withering

 With time

I look in the mirror
 Who is this strange creature?

 Looking back at me

Same old brown eyes

A balding head

Hopes and dreams that need fed

Some personality that I dread

The sparkle of life in his eyes

His life is passing him bye

So much he wants to share

If only he could bear

The fear that shakes him

His soul is out there

A Conundrum

There is a line between

Desires and responsibilities

A line between

Duty and free expression

How do you mend this line?

Is their a balance?

Is there a way to have fun

And do what must be done?

The eight to five work week

While filling your free time

Like two hermits trapped in a box

While watching TV

Feels empty

How do I get my soul back?

How do I come alive?

Am I doomed?

 To listen to others?

What they want?

What they expect?

How I should behave?

All my life?

I am surrounded by allot of miserable people

Do I want to raise my kids

To become miserable

And follow the sins of the father?

I do not know how to live

I want to live

I want to find my bliss

And I want to follow that

Show me how I can blend this line

What I Want

I want to be cared about

I want to be in a reciprocal relationship

I want to be free to express me

I want to be an effective teacher

I want to make a difference

I want to be there for people

I want to be there for myself

I want to love myself

I want to know myself

I want to jump for joy

Everyday

I want to spend my time off

Riding a motorcycle

Flying an airplane

Writing poetry

Reading poetry

Traveling the world

Experiencing nature

And I want you there

To hold my hand

I want to feel things

I mean REALLY FEEL things

I want to feel the world around me

I want to feel the love around me

I want to feel my heart beating

to the beat of life

I want to be me

who am I

will I ever know?

Another Poem to Margie

Margie you are one of the best people I know

One of the best persons I have ever met

I am so grateful for being in your presence

I am so grateful for all the love you have given

And I know will continue to give

Margie you are the embodiment of love

You are lovely in your being

There is not one soul that you have encountered that you haven’t touched

Thank you for being you

Thank you for loving me

Thank you for allowing the person you are to be with us

And with us always you will be

There is no true death

There is just life

And I know that your essence will continue on

And that loving that you are will continue through eternity

You are an old soul, a wise person

And most of all

You have touched and made better all the lives that you have encountered

I love you Margie

I’m not the only one

Thank you for sharing your being with me

Thank you for sharing your heart with me

Thank you for being who you are

And thank you for continuing that being

In whatever form you take

I LOVE YOU

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I am so sleepy

I am so drained

I am so exhausted

I am

Wiped out

Is my soul dead

Or just awakening

Death and life

An oxymoron

Student Teacher

I am so drowsy

I am so worn out

I am so fatigued

I think

Ill go to bed

Extraordinary

I am back from vacation

To return back to reality

This is why reality

Must be made extraordinary

How do I do that?

I feel so anxious

And incompetent

I think this is how most of us feel

I am tired of feeling this way

I am back from vacation

My home smells like used cat litter

My grass is a jungle full of dandy lions

I don’t care

I want to ride a motorcycle

It is cold

But the sun is warm

I need to find my center

I am off balance

Is this a crisis?

Follow your heart

Listen to the universe

Notice the synchronicity

Can I trust it?

Can I trust myself?

Who or what can I trust?

I am back from vacation

And I am anxious

For more reasons than I know

Sometimes a cage can be comfortable

Sometimes a cage makes it so you tremble

Sometimes a cage makes it so you can not breath

Where is the key?

Unsinkable

We have struck

An Ice burg

We are going down

By the head

Count the minutes

Until we

Are all dead

Am I the ship builder

Or captain smith?

There are not

Enough life boats

You can’t save

Your skin

I am just clinching

The rudder

Knowing that I

Have lead

To our greatest disaster

The unsinkable ship

Sinks

Prayer Poem

Dear Life

Guide me

To my

Highest good

Place me

Where I need to be

And

With whom

I need to be with

Allow me

To be strong

To know what is best

For my self

And the rest

Grace me with your

Presence

Let me see

A little deeper

Everyday

Guide me

To my authentic self

And allow me

To be honest

With myself

And others

Thank you

For this life

For the people in it

And for allowing me

To become your paint brush

Fill me with color

And paint

The Path

The synchronicity is every where

Little events

That make up your life

Telling you

You are on your path

Little synchronicity

Leads to big events

Life changers

I am too small

To know where

The path leads

But down I go

Taking each day

Day by day

A new step

In a direction

That I know

Leads to my

Highest good

Phoenix

I am a phoenix

We are all a phoenix

We will burn

Are current self’s

To death

To be reborn

Again

Our darkest times

Will be our

Greatest teachers

And there are

Special people

That will help

And support

Your burned wings

To fly again

Higher and higher

Our darkest hour

Will be

Our greatest moment

To shape

Who we are

Thank You

                       

Thank you

I needed that

It made my day

It made me whole

It wormed my soul

Thank you

The sun felt so good

The sky was so blue

The grass was so green

There was no where I would rather be

Thank you

I saw the butterfly

Lots of them

Some in the grass

                                                             And one on a log

Just enjoying

Its beingness

Thank you

That was what I needed

That was heaven

That was the perfect moment

What Im Good At

I hurt others

Not intentionally

But I do

I hurt others

It is something I am good at

Maybe the one thing I am good at

I want to heal people

I want to help people

I want to be that person

I cant help anybody

I cant heal anyone

I cant even be me

Who the hell am I?

I have no friends

Do you wonder why?

Its quite clear

I am very good

At what I do

And I hurt

And I cry

And I cant stand myself

To all of those that I have

Blown off

Not called

Ignored

Hurt

Named called

And worse

I am sorry

For what that is worth

Very little I think